Hot tub etiquette

Hot tubs and skiing go together like peanut butter and chocolate. There’s nothing better than kicking back in a vat of scalding liquid after the best day of powder skiing in your life. According to mediocre Hollywood movies, hot tubs also have a mystical, time travelling power that can be unlocked. But for the most part they just make you feel rejuvenated and ready for bed, which is great when you have to get up early to go skiing again.

To make your tub experience the most comfortable and least socially awkward, here are some tips for hot tub etiquette.

Power in numbers

Far from the soul-healing properties of a personal bath weighted with epsom salts, hot tubbing on your own is just boring. Forget the candles and incense, the best way to enjoy a hot tub is with friends, whether you’ve known them your entire life or just met them that morning at the breakfast table of the heli-ski lodge. But there’s a balance to be struck here; too many people can have a detrimental effect not only to the occupants’ personal space, but can cause the water to overflow a la the Archimedes Principle. If you can comfortably sit side by side without elbows touching (couple are exempt, of course) then you have achieved the desired ratio of people to water.

Stay hydrated

All that heat is likely to work up a thirst, so make sure to bring ample beverages with you. Beer is the unequivocal king of hot tub libations, both refreshing and easily packaged. No one likes glass near concrete surfaces, so keep everything to aluminum cans. If you enjoy soaking for long periods until your skin turns lobster pink, consider having a water bottle handy as well.No one wants a hangover for your next day’s skiing on account of too much tub.

Keep it clean

Keeping water clean and bacteria free is the responsibility of the tub’s caretaker, but make their job easier by keeping food and dirty clothing a safe distance from the water. If the day has been extremely exertive, consider taking a shower before jumping in the tub with your fellow soakers. Don’t expect the bubbles to hide everything!

Poach responsibly 

Every ski bum has gone through the rite of passage of illegally entering a hotel or private residence for the sake of a free soak. Just remember if you are caught in someone’s private tub you can be charged with trespassing or at the very least, asked to pay for the tub’s cleaning fee. It may be a victimless crime, but be prepared to either be kicked out or accept more dire consequences.

Jonny Fleet’s 2011 entry into the 72 Hour Filmmaker Showdown  Poached Earth illustrates this principle veraciously.